Bruce's Travel Journal
2001

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It's been quite a year. I worked myself into exhaustion, saw lots of changed lives, enjoyed lots of victories, and endured lots of disappointments. I've asked a lot of questions and every now and then even got an answer. I made a lot of good decisions, and undoubtedly more not-so-good. I laughed so hard I thought my face would break and cried so hard I thought I'd never stand up again. I did a lot of things right and probably even more things wrong. I've understood nothing, and in moments of silence and awe before the living God, seen it all as clear as the sky I'm looking at right now.

And that's been the bottom line to it all - His overwhelming faithfulness. Undeniable, unquestionable, unshakable, un-anything-able faithfulness of God. Steering, providing, leading, redeeming my every foolishness, . . . Praise His holy Name!

This afternoon I drive north for a Footsteps Conference in Pismo Beach. Gee, it's tough sometimes, this ministry life. Three hours through Santa Barbara and up the Pacific coast. It'll be challenging, I know, difficult at best, but somebody's got to get out there and do it. And then the hardest part of all - the Lord has put it on my heart (love that Christian-ease) to pull into some little beach hideaway for a cup of coffee and a bowl of clam chowder. Tough to obey the Lord sometimes, but . . .

"So Lord, bless this coming evening of ministry. Bless the entire weekend. Reveal Yourself, Your person, the Person of Your Son, Jesus, through Your Spirit. Touch lives, show Your strong, gentle hand. Unveil Your treasures, leave no stone unturned. Get us on our knees and looking into Your most beautiful countenance. Oh, that we may gaze upon Your beauty, Lord! Glory to Your wondrous Name!" Here I go!

         

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI. I tell you, I knew the enemy was crafty, but this is a curve so out of left field, it's downright hilarious!

This morning as my alarm went off at 5:00 am, just enough time to jump in the shower and race to the airport, I opened my eyes craving a chocolate donut. Now the thing about that is that I never crave chocolate donuts - I never even crave donuts. Pretty much every morning I wander down to my favorite donut shop for a large cup of hazelnut joe and walk right by the temptation counter without a single flinch.

But this morning, for some bizarre reason, all through my shower and skipping out the door, all I could think about was that chocolate donut. And so I did it, much to the amazement of the girl behind the counter. Here she was preparing my usual and I ask for this oddity. "Chocolate chocolate, or just regular chocolate?" "Definitely chocolate chocolate." (I mean, if you're going to crave, why not CRAVE!).

Now here's the thing about eating chocolate donuts while your driving to the airport - they shed their icing all over your pants and you don't want to walk around with these little melted smudges, especially on your only pair of khakis that you have to preach in later. Even a donut novice like me knows that much, so to say the least, I'm eating with care and trepidation.

Whoops! I spy a little dark spot just above the knee. "How did that get there?" Planning carefully so as to not smudge, I wait for a red light, reach down, extract the culprit, and like all boys who get chocolate on their pants, plop what's between my fingers into my mouth (I mean, who wants to waste good chocolate?).

But, ouch! The second my lips wrapped around it I knew this was no chocolate - this was a bug. And not only was it a bug, but it was a mean bug - some kind of little hornet! And not only was it some kind of little hornet, but it was a hornet who thought if he was going to get eaten he was going to go out with a bang, and that meant depositing his nasty little stinger smack in the center of my tongue. Like I said, OUCH!

I cannot tell you the pain! It was like fire spreading all through my face and head. My sinuses, my ears, my gums, my head pounding, and the razor blades slicing my throat to shreds. I couldn't believe it!

And here I had to minister in a handful of hours and my tongue was swelled to what felt like a tennis ball. I couldn't speak intelligibly to save my life! And worse than that - I couldn't finish my donut! (That's a joke).

But the whole thing was so downright bizarre and funny. Here I am racing to the airport with tears streaming down my face, my tongue feeling like it was being surgically carved out of my head, . . . I tell you, I was laughing as hard as I was crying.

But I got a brainstorm - I crushed an aspirin, stuck my tongue out, and rubbed it all over 'ground zero.' I don't know if it was psychological, but it seemed to help - at least it got me past the ticket counter and onto the plane.

And then I started to pray. And boy, did I pray. I mean, no tongue, no ministry - the enemy couldn't have hit more of a bull's eye.

I prayed all the way to Denver and I prayed all the way to Kansas City. I prayed while I was waiting for my rental car and I prayed while I was checking into my room. I prayed while I was showering and shaving and I prayed while I was greeting the pastor. And the Lord being faithful beyond faithful, by the time I got that microphone in my hand the pain was all but gone, my tongue was deflamed but for a little bump, and the ministry went forward without a hitch. Praise the Name of Jesus!

But I'll tell you, as funny as that story is and as silly an example as a chocolate donut is, I don't remember where I heard it, but one of the enemy's favorite hooks is those places of craving; those places of want. Boy, he gets us rushing past the Lord, wanting this or that so badly . . . We even give it a Scriptural-ease Name - 'the desires of my heart.'

Forgive me, but the enemy loves those desires of our hearts. As good and godly as they may or may not be, they entice us to take our eyes off of our God, impatient and wanting. They trip us into making decisions in desperation, spending money we don't have, wedding people and committing to work situations that were never God's perfect intent in the first place. Ishmael, Ishmael, and over and over, Ishmael.

So watch out for the chocolate donuts in your life, kids - there might be a hornet hidden in there somewhere! And you can rest assured, he'll aim for the bull's eye and try to steal what he can of what God wants to do in you, for you, and through you.

His stinger is tiny and God's redemption is huge, but save yourself the trouble and pain, kids - give it a good, hard look - make sure it's real chocolate - His chocolate - before you up and just 'pop it into your mouth.' Take the lesson from my swollen tongue - ouch! Glory to the living God!

         

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA. What 'heaven,' after so many weeks, to sit in the family of my own church and just enjoy Jesus! Glory to His name!

He showed me something incredible tonight. Funny thing, it's so huge, so profound, but so equally obvious I feel almost silly mentioning it. But isn't it always that way - the most significant, the most powerful, always the most under-the-nose and consequently the most overlooked.

"Worship and sacrifice are the keys to His glory." In the Old Testament it was always in the worship of the people and the sacrificing of the bulls and rams, etc. that His glory descended. And the glory was so manifest, so magnificent! And nothing has changed - it is on the wings of our worship, our sacrifice, that His glory comes.

We are always crying out to see that glory in our lives, through our lives - always wondering why we so seldom do. And He responds, "Worship Me, My children! Cast your selves, your 'crowns' at My feet - you will see My glory like you can't imagine My glory!"

And that's got little to do with 20 minutes of good music on a Sunday morning or the latest W.O.W. CD. It's got to do with a life style - a life lived in honor of the living God. It's got to do with a man for no particular reason turning off his TV and getting on His knees and lifting holy hands - a life that worships Him and lives to worship Him!

And sacrifice has little to do with tossing in my weekly tithe. It has everything to do with being 'dead to self, alive in Christ!' Casting off my own desires and abandoning my own agendas unto His desires, His agenda - "Lord, I'll be who You want me to be, I'll do what You want me to do! Anything, Lord! Anywhere, anything!"

Can you imagine the glory that would fall?! Can you imagine the tidal wave of His Spirit and grace, individually, corporately?! Oh glory to His blessed Name!

Well, I hope that truth takes root and becomes more and more incarnate within me. I for one don't want to live one more mediocre moment of life. I want God, God, and more God, every second, every day. I want all of Him and 'His kingdom come, His will be done' that I can get my hands on from now until forever, glory to His Name!

So there was this pastor visiting our church from Japan. He has a small church of about 100. He talked of when he heard the news about New York and Washington - he just kept saying, "Overwhelmed, overwhelmed," and he cried and cried. He stood in front of all of us and cried. His congregation, he said, gathered to pray, and they prayed all through the night - for us, for America, this tiny Japanese congregation prayed.

I tell you, I love the family of God. I stood listening, astounded, my own eyes welling with tears. The humility of this guy - it is an awesome thing, humility. And the power that works through it.

I tell you, there are 'the mighty men of God' and then there are the mighty men of God, and this little, unknown, Japanese pastor, crying before us, on his knees before his congregation at home crying on behalf of us - I have rarely witnessed mightier. Praise the name of Jesus.

His congregation took up a collection for us - for the victims in New York and Washington. $1500. His little congregation, 100 people, $1500. And again I say, praise the name of Jesus.

         

ATLANTA, GEORGIA. Delta/South African Airways business class lounge. What a blessing to step off a 15 hour flight and jump into a hot shower and a steaming cup of American coffee. A-h-h-h, the luxuries of life! Praise God for frequent flyer miles!

Needless to say, it is a different America that I've come home to. It was apparent immediately - this airport usually packed unto crowded misery, now for all practical purposes, empty. The halls, the restaurants, the tram - virtually a ghost town. And where there are people, there is just silence - no chatter, no laughter, just grim silence and the pallor of fear.

And as I look out the window, vacant runways. Where there are customarily dozens of aircraft lined up and itching for takeoff this time of morning, today only an occasional departure, and every one met with nervous stares from everyone around me.

America is in shock, as to be expected. It will take time to recover - physically, emotionally, corporately, privately, . . . It will take time to regain our American confidence and recover.

But we will - about that there can be no doubt. We are an extraordinary people, we Americans. We just motor around living our individual lives, pursuing our individual goals in this rare land where that is not just allowed but supported and encouraged. As I've traveled to so many other lands I have realized more and more how rare and exceptional a privilege that is.

But we just each do our individual thing, but when hardship or tragedy hits, there suddenly is nothing individual about it. We come together, we rise, we take command - after all, we're Americans.

"Dear Father, we've never needed you like we do right now. There can be no doubt that millions of Your children are crying out for Your hand, Your mercy, Your guidance through the smoke and fallen-ness that so blankets us.

Lord, be strong in our lives, be strong in our country. 'Let Your kingdom come, Your will be done!' Let what the enemy has meant for our destruction be turned around for the good of those who love You. We are one nation under You, Father. Through all the mistakes, we're a nation under Your name.

And so, Father, restore! Redeem, resurrect, and restore! It is Your awesome pleasure to do so, I know. Draw all unto You, Father. Speak clear leadership and guidance to our President and all his aides - may they cry out to You like never before, and as You led Moses, David, and so many of Israel's ancient leaders, so lead them, Father, that what would transpire in the coming days would be entirely of Your hand, Your will, Yours and Yours alone.

We praise Your name, Father. You are our hope and our glory. Be glorified! Be glorified! Bless America, Father, and be glorified! Amen, and amen."

         

PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA. Just a few hours and I board a jet for home. It's been such an incredible journey, I tell you, getting on that plane is going to be like pulling teeth.

I don't know what it is on these trips that makes me feel like I'm leaving home as opposed to going there. Every time, but it seems even more this time, it's like my heart sinks to such a place for leaving - and the funny thing, I can't figure out why. The sudden awareness of my aloneness in it all, I guess - always moving on, always saying good-bye.

But it's been an astounding time - every day, vital beyond description. Lives saved, communities refreshed, scores and scores drawn to Jesus.

And then a breathtakingly dramatic thing. In my first Sunday night meeting a young boy came to me asking for prayer for his big brother - cancer. You should have seen the little guy - such love for his brother, the tears just flowing as I prayed.

And then I met dad and mom and we all had a good talk and prayed even more. Carl was their son's name - a high school kid with 2 weeks to live unless a bone marrow donor was found.

Well, we prayed for Carl. Not just that night but continually as the weeks progressed - he was so heavy on our hearts. We prayed for his healing, we prayed for a donor. As you can imagine, a lot of people were praying for his healing, and for that donor.

So last Wednesday I finish a high school meeting and the kids are filing out of the hall, and this tall, handsome, head-shaven young man approaches me - "Hi, my name is Carl. My little brother asked you to pray for me. I had one chemo treatment and there's no longer any trace of cancer anywhere in me. It's gone. And next week I go in for a bone marrow transplant - the doctors found a donor." You should have seen his tears. What a victory. What faithfulness!

So with so much whirling around in my emotions, so many people worked so closely with, I do my best to turn forward and look ahead. What awaits me at home tomorrow? What kingdom adventure next week?

It's all I can think to do - it's all I can do to 'survive' the continual coming and going, getting involved and leaving - just keep looking forward, keep looking forward, keep anticipating kingdom adventure, kingdom adventure, . . .

His promise is to take me from glory to glory, from strength to strength. I have no choice but to bank on that truth, to rest in it. To rest in Him, to 'curl up' with Him, and trust, and trust.

My goodness, at times like this and so many others, it's so far from easy I can't even describe it. But I just know He whispers over and over - "Press on, kid. I've got a plan, I've got a provision. I know your heart, and Mine is right there with you. Press on, kid. I love you. Press on."

         

PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA. September 11, 2001...It is a day to pray. Like never before - to pray.

         

BLOEMFONTEIN, SOUTH AFRICA. Well, Jesus said, "Count the cost," and as I woke up today feeling like I could sleep for a month and then sleep some more, as I stumbled to the bathroom and tried to focus through my bloodshot eyes, as I showered and slipped into my badly-needing-a-wash jeans, I can honestly say, Jesus wasn't kidding! It's been a stretching road all along, but today's the day that I'm really feeling it.

But you know, as I watch myself write those words, I just laugh at myself. I mean, if a little fatigue and exhaustion is what I call 'cost,' then what can be said about a guy sitting in a Chinese prison, or hiding in a trench as bombs drop on his Sudanese church? What can be said about a missionary out there in the bush, ten times as tired as I am and no bed to sleep in, no shower to wake up to, no even remote chance of a washing machine for his mud-stained jeans.

I tell you, if there's any saying that's as true as can be, it's 'everything is relative.' And my tired eyes are a luxury compared to most, so praise God for them, and praise God for every moment of ministry that created them. Glory to Jesus!

So much has happened in the past couple weeks - where do I possibly begin? I've been from Stellenbosch to Worchester to Colesberg to Dewetsdorp to Kroonstad and back to Bloem. I've been in high schools, universities, community meeting halls, even a theater (what's the irony of that - me standing on a theatrical stage, but for purposes of Jesus! Does the Lord have a sense of humor or what?!).

I've moved through every imaginable denomination and culture, every age range and economic level - it's just been a blaze, and I couldn't be more blown away.

Salvation upon salvation - a crying mother came to me last night after the outreach - "My son gave his life to Jesus tonight." You should have seen her face - and you should have seen the glow on his as he approached from the prayer room. Unbelievable! What possible price can a guy put on that?

And yesterday morning in Thaba'Nchu with Godwin - the entire community, leaders and everything. I walked off the platform and Godwin continued in the Sotho language as we've done so many times. I stood in the back, pulled an apple out of my pocket finally getting a chance to eat 'breakfast,' and watched - again, as I have done with Godwin so many times.

And then there it was - beyond comprehension! The people rising from their seats - the tears, the looks of determination, the excitement - the uniting with almighty God in eternal relationship. Jesus, His Holy Spirit, sweeping into their hungry hearts.

I couldn't believe my eyes. I talked with one young guy - 15 years old. You should have seen the fire in his eyes as he spoke - "I'm free. I don't have to drink and run around with girls anymore. I have Jesus in my heart." A miracle - a living miracle - right in front of my eyes. Unbelievable!

And in the high schools - I tell you, what these kids are dealing with and carrying on their shoulders. It all looks so tidy, but then I ask if anyone would like prayer to stay after, and that stay after lasts the remaining 3 hours of the school day as the kids line up and their stories and tears erupt from the deep and hidden places they've been buried beneath - rape, incest, alcoholism, suicide attempts, fathers that beat them, . . . it goes on and on, and I just praise God for his guarding my heart, as it can be so easy for a guy to drown in all the horror.

And I tell you, 99% of it all is us guys - men, fathers, falling so tragically short of our call to manhood and responsibility. "My father left us." "My father came into my room and forced me to have sex. (I heard this from a boy as well as a girl)." "My sister's boyfriend raped me (11 years old)." I could go on and on. Horror after horror - and all of it at the hands of selfish, pitiful, shockingly shameful MEN.

Forgive me for this entirely unscriptural suggestion, but I'd like to get every one of them in the same room and beat the snot out of them one by one. The harm and the horror - the fallout of destruction, the shattered lives - beyond comprehension.

Yes, the devil is having a field day with us guys, and given God's kingdom order that calls us to be 'priests' and spiritual leaders of our households, no wonder his assault is so massive. I tell you, once we guys begin to take command, push our pansiness, our selfishness aside, and step into our kingdom roles, can you even begin to imagine the flood of kingdom order and healing and redemption that will follow. The devil will be running for his life and our wives and children will be dancing in the streets! Praise the name of Jesus!

But again, on the other side, I can't tell you what it's like to see these children begin to come free as the kingdom of God is invited to heal and resurrect - to bring to life that which has been killed. Glory to the name of Jesus!

And so this afternoon I will jump in the car and return to Pretoria as things wind down for this, another kingdom adventure. The final days are always bittersweet - it will be so good to get home, but it's so good to be here, too.

The Lord has incredibly guarded my heart on this trip, so far beyond any other. The aloneness, the heart-weariness that I've come to experience so often just hardly ever crept in - and that's a miracle! I tell you, it blows my mind, as in every past trip I've really wrestled. The Lord is faithful - so incredibly faithful.

And my heart and commitment to this country has grown so refined and clearer. The Lord has something special for this country - some special purpose in His kingdom plan. It sounds silly, but I just know it.

There's been such a struggle over it, and the absolute miracle of God that it never spiraled into the blood baths and civil wars of pretty much every other African nation struggling between colonization and liberation, and then even more between liberation and liberation. God's redemptive hand is clear and evident, that's for sure.

And that can only be the result of praying people. I remember in 1994 just before Nelson Mandela was elected, things here were as hot as ever - hotter than people really realized. I was in Natal working with African Enterprise, and AE's leader, Michael Cassidy was racing between parties around the clock, spearheading a national prayer effort along with others, organizing a stadium prayer event, The Jesus Peace Rally, that I still kick myself for deciding to fly home and not attend.

Few people know, but in the offices beneath that stadium, as 1000's from all sides of the fence were calling on the name of Jesus, the seeds of a deal were brokered that would avert a civil uprising by the Inkatha Freedom Party, which is basically the majority Zulu nation.

That uprising that would have cost countless lives and thrust the country into a living hell, and was only hours in the offing. But unknowing, the people prayed and prayed, and God came and came - glory to His name!

"If My people will humble themselves and call on My name, I will hear their call and heal their land." I don't have my Bible so I don't know if that's the right wording, but it's close enough, and ever-so-true. It's true-er than true - true-er than one can begin to imagine it's true. We pray - God comes. We pray - God comes.

So keep praying, my friend - God comes! Off to Pretoria - glory to his name!

         

DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA. Two Hindus came to Jesus last night. A brother and sister - you should have seen their tears - born again - Jesus. I tell you, it just takes my breath away - the day-by-day wonders of the living God.

And as if that's not enough for one guy for one day, I bedded down in a nature reserve and this morning went jogging among a small herd of zebras.

I tell you, I stand amazed. How on earth did I ever get to this place? How on earth did it happen? What God has done - it absolutely takes my breath away.

Tonight a community outreach in Port Shepstone, then we start the long drive south toward the Cape. I've said it a million times, and before all is said and done I imagine I'll say it a million more - "Glory to the living God!"

         

KWAZULU NATAL, SOUTH AFRICA. Another day, another town. Africa is something special, I tell you. Driving through the countryside, the hills dotted with brightly painted thatch roof huts, gathered together into tiny 'kraals.' The children with barrels of water and bundles of wood balanced on their heads, their bare feet kicking the dust paths carved up and back through the sugar cane fields. I tell you, as much as I've seen it, it's something to behold - right out of a movie. Africa!

I was thinking about that term I used in my last writing - 'a spacious place.' Another way I think of it is 'a luxurious place.'

But it's so hard to define what that means to me. It has nothing to do with property or land or anything like that. I mean if that was the case, what a laugh - my house is about as big as a dime!

And in terms of luxury, if you could have seen the 'hotel' I slept in last night! Complete with the front desk guy in a terry cloth robe and dangling cigarette. I figured he gave me his favorite room because the walls and ceiling were painted in a lovely shade of nicotine.

I had to prop my bag against the door to keep it from swinging open. And then there's the mattress - I'd never before slept on one stuffed with newspaper. I have a saying here at Marchiano Ministries with regard to these things - "I've stayed in better, and I've stayed in worse."

But needless to say, luxury just is not often a part of the program - not the way we tend to think of it, anyway.

But then there were those country roads, and here's my western eyes just feasting away on what most folks see only through National Geographic. And then there was the children's home where I spent a couple of hours and watched dozens of kids receive Jesus as Savior. And then there was the prison this morning where the Lord gave me such a simple message of His grace for the guys, and their response was so massive my Zulu interpreter stumbled over his speech.

I don't know too many guys who get to spend a day like I do. If I never make another movie or another dollar again, I don't know too many guys who get to live life like I do.

And all of it - 200% of it from day one to now - just fell right out of the sky. The Lord just opened His hand and said, "Have a blast, kid." Unbelievable.

Are there challenges? You bet there are. Are there difficulties and lonely times? Are there frustrations and desires of the heart that seem so far away and beyond impossible? Of course there are. Welcome to life, Bruce.

But transcending all of it, so far and above and completely drowning it - the amazing grace, the mighty redemption, the spacious place, the luxurious life my God has opened before me. "Oh praise Your wonderful Name!"

"I thank You so incredibly much, Father. I'm so blown away by Your goodness toward me, Your faithfulness in redeeming my folly, Your steadfastness in supplying purpose, and adventure, and value, and wow!"

"You just blow my mind, Lord, and I am so thankful - I don't even know how to put it into words - I'm so thankful. Praise Your wondrous Name!"

         

PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA. (August 23,2001) I've spent the entire day walking on air. Every once in a while I get a glimpse of a very specific thing with regard to the Lord's hand in my life, and it's so incredibly stunning.

Well, today was one of those glimpses, and it's so impossible to put into words. I mean, there's just no way to convey the wow and wonder of it.

I woke up early, grabbed a cup of fast food coffee, and zoomed down to Waterkloof High School to address their morning assembly of 2000 students.

I don't even know how to say it, but the gentleness and truth that hung over those kids in that assembly - like a 'soft, warm cloud' I can only say was the Holy Spirit. I tell you, for a full 30 minutes - 2000 teenagers, mind you - and you could hear a pin drop. It was breathtaking.

And the response - mind-blowing. In prayer I got a sense that the Lord wanted to show the kids His heart, and so that is what I prayed for them before I went in, "Lord, show them Your heart."

I would find out later that a lot of people are praying for those particular kids. Teachers, students, parents. Some of the mothers even get up early and 'prayer-walk' the perimeter of the school regularly.

Well, the Lord answered those prayers this morning, as He probably is doing every morning. But this morning was something extraordinary. To see these kids, the love of their Father God rising in their understandings - to see legions of them, even some of the ultra-cool, tough ones wiping tears from their eyes. The softness, the absolute warmth - the salvation and goodness of God moving in their young lives. I just have no words for what I saw today.

And as I drove away, I caught that glimpse - that glimpse of the wonder of the life God has literally handed me. I never even dreamed of it, yet here I am, living this life that is so, . . . so, . . . so remarkably 'spacious,' I guess.

Yes, that's it - He's brought me into a 'spacious place,' and it is breathtaking. I mean, here I am across the ocean, seeing the wonder of wonders over and over, and not just that, but to see it like this morning, in this way that is, well, the only word that I can think of is 'holy.' Yes, 'holy.' And it just takes my breath away.

Anyway, I told you I wouldn't be able to put it into words. But that was the day - and what a day it was.

Tonight I drive southeast to Kwazulu-Natal where I'll minister for the rest of the week. I haven't been there since 1997, and I have no idea what the Lord has in store. But I sure hope it's more of this morning and then some. Amen, and amen!

         

PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA. (August 21, 2001) Well, here I am, and not a moment too soon. The plane from Atlanta to Johannesburg was about an hour late, and I missed my first high school outreach. Boy, they sure do cut it close for me out here!

But so far we've had four meetings in two days and the Lord has been breathtakingly faithful. I walked into Sunday morning's meeting so exhausted from the flight and time change and all, I tell you, I had absolutely nothing to offer those folks. I mean, it was nothing to offer like I've never known nothing to offer. All I could do was beg God big-time.

And there, standing in front of them, He gave me a specific leading. I spoke it and you could hear a pin drop. It's amazing when the Lord does a thing like that!

I went on to follow it, and you should have seen the tears flowing across that room. It was unbelievable. And the people coming forward for repentance and prayer - entire families! I tell you, it took me till now to even begin to come down from seeing the Lord touch the people like that. What a privilege.

There was one 15 year old girl in particular that responded in salvation - I can see her glowing face even now as I write. What a glorious thing to behold - her life actually passing from dark into light. And she was so excited, and her family was so excited - they just hugged and hugged her.

Her Grandma came to me and said, "I've been praying for my granddaughter since the day she was born." Well, Grandma, all I can say is, "Behold the fruit of your labor!" Hallelujah! Praise God for Grandma!

It's the beginning of what promises to be a long, grueling, and even more than that, exciting journey. I always arrive a little daunted with it all in front of me, but once the wheels start moving like they did this weekend, bring it on, Lord! Bring it on!

And the neatest thing - the Lord is so good it's beyond explaining. Today I'm walking down the street, and a woman recognizes and stops me. We'd never met, and she had no idea that I was here in the country, but she'd read 'Footsteps' a year or so ago.

"Last week the Lord put it on my heart to start praying for you, Bruce," she said. "It was strange because that never happens to me, and I don't know what it was about, but I think it had something to do with preparation."

Can you believe that? I sit here shaking my head at the wonder of it all - the Lord leading folks to pray. It absolutely silences me.

And preparation for what? For this trip? I don't know. For what I feel He has for me to do down the line (yes, I'm being intentionally vague)? I don't know.

All I know is that He is wonderful, and I love Him so incredibly much, and I'm His, all in all, everything, lock, stock, and barrel, over and out, see ya later world, I'm sold and gone to Jesus!! Glory to His wondrous name!

         

DARIEN LAKE, NEW YORK. It is the most astounding thing, to look out on a group of people and see the Holy Spirit reach into their hearts with Jesus. I tell you, I live for those 15 minutes.

All the bouncing around airports and Holiday Inns; all the cups of coffee to go and a quick meal here and there; all the different cars every week, and different people, and different beds, and different everything, over and over, . . .

And then there are those 15 minutes - those unexplainable, humbling, breathtaking, so-excited-I-can't-sleep 15 minutes - and I tell you, it is GLORIOUS!

My first meeting here at Kingdom Bound was one I had half the world praying about. I did the same meeting last year and it was very difficult - huge outdoor pavilion with people coming and going, sandwiched between Robin Marks and Michael W. Smith. I mean, who wants to listen to the likes of me in the middle of that mix!

But the Lord was so incredibly faithful! It was unbelievable - the silence, the sense of holiness, the drawing of us all to Jesus! And to see the people touched, responding to Jesus in only-He-knows what ways - unbelievable! Only the Lord could do a thing like that, and for the last time, IT WAS MAGNIFICENT!

Only problem is that I couldn't sleep through the thrill of it all and stumbled into my next meetings half-conscious. But again, the Lord was faithful, and faithful, and faithful, and I am just in awe! Glory to His Name! I hope I get to come back here next year, and next year, and then the year after that, too!

So now it's a few days to prep for my second 2001 trip to South Africa. Man, it's getting to be like going next door. But the Lord has given me wonderful expectations for this next trip - 'new'-ness, and rest. Yes, here I am thinking I'm going to blaze trails all across the country, and He says, "No, Bruce, I want you to rest. I want you to take this next month, and in the midst of the work, walk with Me 'beside still waters' - seek Me quietly, intimately, peaceably - in rest." I tell you, the Lord gets more exciting every day! 'See you' in Africa!

         

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA. My goodness, it's been a whirlwind since I returned from Africa. Boise, Idaho; Kitty Hawk, North Carolina; Norfolk, Virginia; Chicago; South Bend, Indiana; Detroit; Pittsburgh; and finally New Orleans. And here I sit waiting for a plane that will take me to Dallas, back to Boise, then (whew!) home. Hallelujah!

The Lord is so incredibly good. He has given me astounding grace every step of the way - favor and grace. As I looked at the oncoming schedule I started to sweat. My heels had only a few days to cool following South Africa and there just was no way I had it in me to cover all of this ground. Then one morning I was praying about it all and the Lord blessed me so. He called me to re-rooting in the simplicity this ministry was birthed in so long ago - the simplicity of just going wherever I was invited, no matter where or who or for what I was invited, and just giving the people Jesus.

It was such a load off, such a release of all pressure, such a refreshing - "Just go and give them Jesus, Bruce. That's what I've birthed you to do, that's all I want you to do - just give the people Jesus." A youth outreach? Just talk about Jesus. A coat-and-tie church? Just talk about Jesus. A bouncing-off-the-walls church? Just talk about Jesus. A businessman's luncheon? Just talk about Jesus. A woman's conference? A TV interview? A magazine article? An airplane conversation? Jesus, Jesus, and more Jesus!! And I'll tell you, these past few weeks not only have included most all of the above, but they've been an absolute breeze. Oh, glory to His wondrous name!

There's so much in us that wants to 'do' all the time. "This is so great! What else can I do?" But the Lord says, "Just take what I've given you and use it. This is the testimony I've given you; this is the gift; this is the talent, . . . Don't look east or west or at him or her. Just keep your eyes on Me. Take what I've given you, cast it out there, and watch what I will do in your life and in everyone's you come in contact with!" I have a pastor friend and he puts it this way, "Bruce, the key is to find out what it is that you do and stick with it." Oh glory to the name of Jesus!

So for the most part it's all felt like a vacation, this latest string of traveling. I've rarely worked so hard and felt so relaxed. No push, no pull, just showing up and sharing Jesus. Oh, there were a couple days when I got a little airport and hotel weary (you know you've been traveling a lot when you can describe the layout of a Marriot room as opposed to a Holiday Inn from memory), but for the most part, what an absolute pleasure.

I even took some time to sit on a porch swing in front of a hundred year old hardware store I stumbled across last night. It was wonderful, watching the sun set over this back woods town and that characteristic Louisiana 'swamp' forest that embraced it. Funny how it so reminded me of Africa - the sultry, wet air, everything seeming to move a step or two slower than the rest of the world. I sat there till 9 or 10 o'clock, feeling like I could have sat there forever.

I so love the quiet. I've heard it said that some people are fueled by having lots of people around them, and others are fueled by quiet. I am definitely of the latter. I remember last night so clearly. Just basking in the warm breeze, watching the flags that hung loosely over Roy's Knife And Bowhunting Store across the street twist and dance with every gust. And the birds, from every direction, calling in the dark.

Every once in a while a car would amble by. I'm sure everyone wondered who the stranger sitting on that porch swing was, but it didn't stop them from tossing a wave and a smile anyway. Good folks in this place, I can just tell. Good, solid folks.

And so I thank my Savior. He has given me so much. Yes, there are challenges; yes, it's rarely easy ; but what a blessing of a life. There can be no doubt that whenever it feels complicated, it's me who's doing the complicating. Whenever a frustration hits, when dissatisfaction or anxiety kick in, it ain't Him, and that's for sure. It's me and only me - old sin nature me.

In a few minutes I'll board a plane for Dallas. It'll be a week of interviews, a banquet, and a Good Friday luncheon. In other words it'll be a week of Jesus, Jesus, and more Jesus. And at least for today - and I hope it just expands into every day unto that final day - by the grace of almighty God, I couldn't be more thrilled; I couldn't be more fulfilled. Jesus!

         

JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA. In just about 7 hours I'll be somewhere over the Atlantic with another South African adventure under the belt. What a whirlwind of just about everything - all the excitement, all the sweat, all the tears, all the salvation, and more than anything else, all the faithfulness of God, over and over and over.

I had the most amazing meeting with a woman yesterday afternoon who runs 'Abba House,' a home for abandoned babies with AIDS as well a whole host of other activities - housing for destitute pregnant women, adoption coordination for the babies, abortion-alternative counseling, . . . She rescues these babies, she rescues mothers, she finances medicine and testing, she saves the lives of unborn babies, and the cream on the cake, she introduces all of the above to their Savior Jesus. I tell you, I just sat there and listened to her stories with my mouth hanging open for more than an hour. Absolutely amazing.

But the thing that so astounded me - she didn't talk about her great work or how badly she needs funding or anything like that. All and everything she talked about was the faithfulness of God. It is her testimony through every inch of her effort - the bottom line and the soaring constant - the faithfulness of God.

She looked at me and said, "You never, never need to question the Lord's hand in a situation. He is faithful. Over and over I have seen Him redeem the impossible. HE IS FAITHFUL."

And it's true. I have seen the same - for these past three weeks, I have so much seen the same. Oh, there were many times when I was so self-centered I didn't notice it till later, but it was there, over and over. Oh, praise the Name of Jesus!

One of the difficult things about this ministry I have is that it's such a solo thing. I move into a community, tiptoe here and there through their high schools, churches, and whatever, no big fanfare or organization or anything. I just show up, do my thing, hand it all over, jump in my little car and zoom off into the sunset.

But there's an odd sense of anticlimax that comes from that. I mean, I hear about this ministry or that ministry coming in and the place is going wild in anticipation and all, and they come in and vavoom and splash and everything. This afternoon my assistant here will quietly drive me to the airport after a stop at the lion park, we'll have a final cup of coffee, we'll talk about the next tour, and off I go without so much as a whisper. I'll tell you, as much as that's the way I created it and the way I like it, it can feel a little funny.

But last night was so awesome - and again, it's all under the heading of the faithfulness of God. It started storming just as I was settling in for the night. Thunder began to explode, one massive rumble on top of the other. The hot summer wind kicked and blasted through the open door, the drapes dancing and twisting, leaping high and left and right. I walked out on the porch - bolts of hot, white lightning began to rip across the huge African sky - it was absolutely magnificent.

It was a show I'd be a fool to miss, so I pulled up a chair and propped my feet on the railing. Elephant rain began to fall, beating down on the trees and bush all around me. Again, absolutely magnificent.

And as silly as this might sound, in the quiet of that sense of anticlimax, as I sat there without a soul in the world knowing where I was or what I was doing, it was like all of heaven was celebrating in front of my eyes - celebrating everything that had gone on and been accomplished in the lives of so many in the past three weeks. It was like the angels were dancing and the Lord was belly-laughing and all the heavenly host were kicking up their heels in an explosion of glory and joy and glory and joy.

I must have sat there for hours, well into the night, watching, praying, silently thanking almighty God for His faithfulness in my life, for His ever-present hand and blessing, for the privilege of seeing the things that I see, for the lives that were changed, for my life that's always changed.

"I thank You, Father. As this adventure ends I am so aware that a new one begins, and I am thankful. Lord, I so need You to uphold me. 'My soul clings to You, Your right hand upholds me.' So much of the time, Lord, I am so full of questions and fatigue. So often I allow the enemy to steal the fullness of the day You've set before me. I'm so sorry for that, Father. Please forgive me - I am a stumbling son.

But I love You, Father. I know I seldom act like it. I know I seldom live in it. But I love You, Father.

And thank You for so many souls, Lord. It's breathtaking to see your children come into Your kingdom, to know Your Son in a moment of Your grace poured out, to see Your Son afresh in a moment of Your Spirit lifting a veil. You're amazing, Lord. Three in One, You're amazing.

And keep me going, Father. You never said it would be easy, and forgive me for those times when I selfishly expect it to be. But keep me going, Lord - through it all, it's so incredibly great. Keep my eyes fixed on those souls - You and those souls. In Your strength and Your strength alone, Father. In Your strength alone. Glory to Your blessed Name!"

         

PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA. Things are winding down and the dust is settling on this adventure. With one more meeting to go, I'll be in the air and on my way home Saturday. And as incredible as it's been, I can't wait! Oh, to sit in my own chair, to sleep in my own bed, to have the waitress at the coffee shop not smile and the guy at the 7-11 not say thank you as he takes my money - ah, sweet LA!

But seriously, anyone who's been in South Africa knows, hospitality is number one, like nowhere else in the world, even reaching comedic proportions. Just this morning the lady who owns the guesthouse I'm staying in just insisted that I have breakfast.

Here I was sitting on my porch in my running shorts (thank God I had them on), sporting a serious case of pillow hair, and I hear her dainty feet coming up the stairs. And there she was - "You must have some good filter coffee and a nice breakfast." "Thank you, ma'am, but I really don't like to eat breakfast and this Ricoffy instant is just fine." "No, I insist. I haven't made you breakfast since you arrived." "Really, I never eat breakfast and --." "Some fruit and toast and two eggs." "Ma'am, really --." "Do you like sausage? We have some fresh sausage." "But ma'am --." Too late - she was down the stairs and out of sight. The next thing I knew I was stuffing myself with more breakfast than I'd eaten in 3 months and she sat right across the table to make certain that I ate every bite.

I love it...and it's such a beautiful thing. I'll tell you, the South Africans give new meaning to the phrase, 'bending over backwards for you.' The only problem is, when I get home it takes me two months to work off the weight gain!

But today is my first day off since I arrived. It feels so strange, to go, go, go, and then just suddenly stop. To be so public and the meetings are packed and the people excited, and then suddenly it's just me (and my new breakfast partner, of course). I'll tell you, it can play tricks in a guy's head, that's for sure.

But I've had lots of experience with this particular cliff edge. In fact, it's become something of a lifestyle, and I've learned by hitting the bottom so many times, the only answer is to force myself to lay low, spend mountains of time alone with the Lord, and beg Him to prep me for reentry. The tendency is to jump in the car and go do something, but I just know the Lord says, "Slow down, kid. Get yourself a cup of coffee and just sit quiet with me."

Funny thing about ministering like this. It's so easy to get so busy that time with the Lord just goes out the door. And I'll tell you, once that's lost, you can just forget it. All these lessons I've learned along the way, and without a doubt, along the hard way.

But I had a strange experience just a few hours ago. I found a gym to get some exercise. There I was waking up muscles that thought I'd abandoned them, and from across the room - the most beautiful girl, just looking and looking. "She can't be looking at me," I said to myself, "It only happens in the movies and always to those 'other' guys."

But no, it was happening and it was me, and there she was sitting herself down next to me, smiling away. I'll tell you, if that doesn't make a guy's day, I don't know what will! But then she said it - "Are you Bruce Marchiano?"

It's so strange, this life of mine. Before all of what the Lord has so blessed me with, I was just some bonehead guy sitting in church trying to get some sense of how to live a godly and fulfilling life. And then I do this movie where I play Jesus, and suddenly . . .

And it's all such a mind-blowing blessing and so magnificent, and I wouldn't trade even a second of it for all the everything in the world and then some. What's that Scripture in Psalms? "I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of the Lord than dwell in the tents of the wicked."

But you know, as selfish as this might sound, and as I write this I know I'm extremely tired and probably very vulnerable and may be writing from that place, but I long for those moments when I'm not 'the guy who played Jesus.' I long for those people who don't even care about me being 'the guy who played Jesus.'

And of course, I can't help thinking about Jesus Himself 2000 years ago, in the same way. One of the things I discovered about Him is that through it all, He was probably the most lonely guy on the planet. I mean, He's the Son of the living God - who could possibly understand Him? His closest friends never even began to understand until long after He'd returned to the Father.

I can see Him in those all night sessions on the Mount of Olives, yes praying and praying, but in my absolute lack of knowing anything, I can't help but think that Jesus spent a lot of that time just 'curled up in His Father's arms,' so to speak - the only 'arms' that truly understood - begging Him for comfort and the strength to get through the next day, and the next, and the next, . . .

As it was, and this is such a breathtaking thing, the beautiful girl in the gym had read my first book, 'Footsteps.' "It changed my life," she said. "After sitting in church since I was a child, now I can truly say I'm born again."

Wow. I have heard it so many times, but each time it just blows my mind more than the last, and God forbid it should ever stop.

But as she walked away saying, "I'm sorry for taking so much of your time," all the while my thoughts silently responding, "Please, take up more of my time," it was the funniest loneliness that just came over me. Here's this girl, and she's looking me in the eye, and she has no idea that the guy who played Jesus is just a guy, and would have loved nothing more than to just sit with her over dinner and talk about absolutely nothing.

I left the gym trying to remember where that Scripture is where Paul says something like, "My life is no longer mine." Not always such an easy thing, that's for sure.

But the comedy of comedies - oh how the Lord has a sense of humor - oh the ways he tells me, "Lighten up, kid," when I get like this. Here I am sitting in an Internet cafe writing about this very thing and suddenly there's this huge guy standing next to me shaking my hand and introducing me to his family and telling me how I prayed for his daughter at a service last year and how she's doing great now. My goodness, timing is certainly everything.

"How thankful I am for my life, Lord. And oh, how I hear You loud and clear, Lord. I love You, Lord. You've blessed me out of my socks, and what a privilege to serve You in the ways I have. Don't let it ever stop, Lord. Never, never, EVER! I love You, Lord - oh praise Your wondrous Name!"

         

PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICA. Back in the big city. I'll tell you, as a necessity for my emotional survival I've gotten so skilled at 'moving on.' But those people in Rawsonville, they just stole my heart. I can't remember when I just plain did not want to leave an area and its people.

And the work there was incredible. There are times when it feels so out of control, so far above and beyond me, it's almost scary; and Rawsonville was one of those times. We did a high school meeting, a youth night, and a Footsteps Conference, and the move of God in people's lives - hearts so hungry for God - lives transformed and transformed - it just blew my mind. Almost a week later and I still lie in bed at night and stare at the ceiling, trying to assess it all.

Yes, Rawsonville was one big wow, and there can be no doubt that people there are praying. In fact, the night before I left, my new wine farmer friend, A.B., told me they had erected a cross in the vineyard and all the farmers and their wives were going to gather there after sunset and pray. So I'm driving back to my cottage after a wind-down dinner, and the summer wind is blowing through my window, and the stars are smiling down on me, and there I see it - a huge, illuminated, glowing white cross in the middle of the vineyard. I just stopped and took it in - the silence, the wind blowing through the grape vines, and there covering it all - the cross. I could have sat there for hours. It was absolutely breathtaking.

But then it was on to Thaba Nchu and Bloemfontien, and now Pretoria. The Lord just keeps doing one incredible thing after another, praise His astounding name. I can't quite grasp it - here I am these many years after 'Matthew,' and yet it continues - and not just continues, but actually grows. You would think that interest would have dwindled away a long time ago, but no. It actually is exploding like never before.

I admit that sometimes I feel foolish, still doing this after 7 years. But then when I see the people and the way their lives are touched, when I see the people respond in salvation - my goodness, how can I ever stop?

I was with Bruce Rudnick yesterday in the airport for a few hours. What a blessing to be with him for the first time in 2 years. But I must never forget - he leaned over and said, "My brother, you've been given a gift of souls. I would give everything for one soul. It is a precious thing that God has given you. You must never stop."

It's true - God has given me a precious thing. I will never forget crying one evening as the people were coming forward in salvation, and whispering to the Lord, "Give me souls for my inheritance. Lord, give me souls . . ." What a precious gift - the most precious gift, the most precious pursuit - souls. Glory to the name of Jesus!

         

RAWSONVILLE, SOUTH AFRICA. I heard a story over lunch today. A woman in this community came down with cancer and sharing her testimony at a woman's meeting she started with the words, "I'm glad I got cancer in Rawsonville." I've been here less than 24 hours and I can understand perfectly what she was saying.

It's an unexplainable thing - this place. I could talk about the beauty of the valley and its wine farms, and the majesty of its surrounding mountains. I could talk about the 'genuineness' of its people. I could talk about the warm and gentle 'spirit' that seems to pervade everywhere I go. People are praying for this valley. About that, there can be no doubt.

And further evidence - the meetings are packed, the people hungry for God and the fullness of relationship with Him. And the fruit of that - I can see it in so many people's eyes, I can hear it in their conversation - a calm, a confidence, an assurance and security - the 'peace that transcends understanding.'

I was with a farmer this morning, they call him "A.B.". He put his 'veldhoed' (bush hat) on my head and took me on a tour of his vineyard. It's harvest time and the entire countryside is rich with activity.

But he told me it wasn't a good year for the farmers here. Not a complaint, just a fact. But his utter relaxation about it, the absolute ease with which it was discussed. Where another guy would be throwing the blame this way or that, angsting and stressing - it blew my mind - this man, as he stood in front of me, a 'Jesus Leef' ('Jesus Lives') bumper sticker on his farm truck in the background, he was the picture of Philippians 4:6,7 - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God - and the peace of God which transcends understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus." What a blessing this guy was. Oh Lord, make me a man anxious for nothing!

And so the community is coming together for my first big "In The Footsteps Of Jesus" Conference in South Africa. The hall is being outfitted, the ladies are cooking lunch for over 500, and the men who own vans are volunteering to drive the participants from where they park their cars to the venue. What a blessing to see such excitement and coming together - and all in the name of Jesus.

But then apparently that's the way it is in this place - the pitching in and coming together. There is no going it alone. Funny thing, but on the wine farm there was another guy driving the harvesting machine. I assumed that he worked for A.B., but no - he owned the farm next door. That's the way it's done here - whether it's cancer, or harvest time, or even a Jesus Conference, there's no such thing as going it alone. And if that isn't straight from God, His way, His order, I don't know what is.

And it was such a blessing. Last night we were praying under the stars with Tania, the saint who took the helm and organized everything, and with a smile on her face, talking about the irony of me coming when it's 'harvest time' in the natural, she ever-so-gently said, "We're praying for many souls to come, and if you don't mind me saying it this way, you're the carrot." I'll tell you, in her South African accent, it was the sweetest thing - to be called a carrot.

Well, Lord, I'll gladly be Your carrot, today, tomorrow, any day of the week and for the rest of my life. Dangle me big-time, Father, and if the halls are filled through such a thing, if the souls will come for such a reason, oh Lord, dangle this carrot and even squeeze the juice out of it! Souls, my Father - oh Father, souls and more souls! Answer their every 'carrot prayer' in this community, Father, and a thousand others as well. Oh praise the name of Jesus!

         

Cape Town, South Africa, 2001. This place has such precious memories for me, especially this time of year - it was this time of year that we were shooting 'Matthew' here. And what a privilege it was.

But these eight years later, it's not a camera looking me in the face, but a thousand high school kids. And though it doesn't always feel like it, again, 'what a privilege.'

Still the struggles come. I drive by the locations where we shot, and can't help but wonder why I'm not doing the same today. I meet a university kid who saw me in his high school 5 years ago and wonders if he's seeing any gray hairs that weren't there back then.

But thank God for a true and good friend - after a prison meeting in the morning I drove to see Regardt. It was just wonderful, and a 'completely myself' time I was really hungry for. We did the usual - a stroll along the beach front, a coffee, good talk, another coffee. We went back to his place and just prayed and prayed. It was wonderful.

You know, there are those one or two people in a guy's life he can just be 100% himself in front of, without any fear of judgment or disappointment, or even surprise. Praise God for Regardt!

We so long to be back at work. We so long to take what we learned in 'Matthew,' and multiply it in 'John.' It makes our hearts skip in double time.

But that's a door the Lord has to open. It's a ministry He alone can provide. And so we wait. We "do what our hands find to do" and we wait. "Wait for the Lord. Be strong, and take heart, and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27, I think.

Youth meeting in Seapoint later tonight. Tomorrow, two high schools - schools for learning impaired kids - then it's a long drive north to one of the most breathtaking valleys I've ever laid eyes on, an area called Breede River valley.

I've gotten word that the people are jumping with excitement there - and what a thrill it will be to serve them. "Do a thing there, Lord! Reach into the people's hearts with the fullness of Your precious Son and precious Spirit, and do a mighty thing! Oh, glory to Your wondrous name!"

         

Los Angeles, California. I'll tell you, it's days like today when I know exactly why I live in southern California. Mid-January and the sun is as bright as can be, the air crisp and clear, the temperature probably 70 in the shade. In a word, "Wow!" Praise God for the blessing of a day like today.

I've been home for about a month now, and it's been so wonderful just to sit in my own house and sleep in my own bed; sip my own coffee out of my own mug on my own porch and all the while petting my own dog. Praise God for these that have become among the most wonderful and satisfying pleasures of my life.

And it's amazing how a guy changes. It wasn't too long ago that I lived an entire two years without once unpacking my suitcase, loving every moment of it, and what a glorious adventure it was! And now here I am, absolutely craving the opposite - home.

But the day was so excellent. I rose early, wandered out to the porch with my Bible and scratch pad, and prayed for a good two hours. Then with the sun so brilliant, a workout and a nice, long run. What an absolute pleasure of a morning.

And the Lord so blessed me yesterday, too. It's so funny, but like most folks, I guess, you run around doing everything you can to seek God and follow His lead, and you're 99% sure you're hearing Him right and moving as He would have you move - but there's that nagging little 1% that's more than likely the enemy trying to discourage and distract. And boy, how that screams at a guy when he's tired. To quote Gary Cooper in 'High Noon,' "I was tired, and a guy can think all kinds of things when he's tired."

But in the middle of the day, completely out of nowhere, I was talking with a friend and she says, "By the way, I meant to tell you but I forgot - a couple months ago I was praying for you and the Lord showed me, -------." Without going into details, it was exactly what the Lord was leading me through - complete and total confirmation that I was in fact hearing the Lord correctly and He was in sovereign control. Here I was wondering if I was anywhere close, and come to find out, I'm standing right in the bull's eye.

It's hilarious - she's feeling bad that she forgot to tell me and two months had gone by. But if she had told me back then it would have meant nothing, where yesterday it meant the world. Is God in control, or what?!

I sat down and wrote on my note pad, "The Lord says to me today: 'Rest, My child. As you have sought Me, I have responded. Your times are in my hands. Rest.' " Praise the blessed Name of Jesus!

So in a couple hours I board my first plane of 2001, on my way to Lake Havasu City, Arizona, for my first outreach of 2001. What a blessing. Speaking of which, I'd better go pack! "Here we go again, Lord!"