April 11, 2008 - Burbank, CA -
On the anniversary of the last evening my father and I spent
together before he went into the hospital... and never came out.
Dad would have been proud of me on the softball field
tonight. I batted 3/4 and made every play that was hit to me at
third base. I tend to play even with the bag at third, and in my
thoughts I could hear my father telling me as he always did, "Play
back a couple steps - you can make that throw. That way you'll get
to those balls that they're hitting in the hole."
He loved coming to my softball games - just as he loved my
little league games when I was a kid. So in his honor I played
those couple steps back tonight. And he was right. There was one
ground ball to my left that I wouldn't have gotten to if I was
playing where I usually play. Chalk another one up for dad.
That last evening we had together - it was April 10, 2007 -
we went to our favorite Italian checkered table cloth joint in North
Hollywood, called Little Toni's. It was a place I frequented in my
early actor days. I used to always tell Barbara, my waitress of
many years now, "Someday I'm going to make this place famous."
Maybe I just did...
But then when Dad and Mom moved up to live closer to me, it
became our favorite haunt together. Then when he and Mom moved
north to be closer to the grandkids he would take the train down to
me every couple weeks or so, I'd pick him up at Burbank station,
7:05 pm, and without any discussion, we'd drive straight to Little
Toni's for a father-son feast.
Dad was always considerate, looking for an inexpensive dish
on the menu to save me a few bucks. I'd always egg him on to go
with what he really wanted. That night I convinced him good and he
ordered grilled salmon with veggies and a side of pasta. I had an
antipasto salad.
The next morning he was so happy, singing in bed, "If I Were
a Rich Man." Then suddenly he began shivering. It wasn't stopping
so I phoned his doctor. She said to bring him in, but between that
phone call and him getting his shoes on I could see that it wasn't
good.
I took him into emergency. It was an infection. A bad
infection. It was an infection that, six weeks later, Jesus would
use to bring Dad home to his side.
That Little Toni's evening was a year ago tonight. And so
after my softball game I thought I'd go "have dinner with my Dad."
I drove down to Little Toni's, asked Barbara for that same table
we'd sat at a year ago, ordered my salad and dad's salmon... and
had dinner "with Dad."
This one's for you,
Dad. I'm so thrilled you're with Jesus. I'm so heartbroken you're
not with me. I love you, Dad. I miss you a lot. You would have
been proud of me tonight on the softball diamond, Dad. I wish you
were there...
I'm going to make
sure John happens, Dad - it was such a big deal to you. You'd be
excited to see how things are poppin' with that and we're getting
closer and closer. And when I get out on the set that first day
I'll be thinking of you, and how you so wanted to be there.
In a week or so I'm
off to South Africa. I don't know how things work in heaven, but
I'm sure if you've ever taken a moment away from worshipping Jesus,
you probably ran into Martin's mother. Maybe you two are
worshipping Jesus together. So maybe during the crusade you'll be
up there with her worshipping Jesus and I'll be down here with her
son worshipping Jesus... I don't know, but I think that's kind of
cool to think about.
Remember how I
missed the April Crusade last year, Dad, and you felt so bad about
that? We both knew you would be healed and there was no doubt in my
mind that you'd be healed by then, so I went ahead and bought my
ticket. I guess we didn't realize that God would heal you fully
like he did - healed into his loving arms.
I love you, Dad. I
miss you. This night belongs to you, Dad. This night is yours...
Glory to the name
of Jesus!
Go to Top
April 2008 - Burbank, CA -
A whole lot of people were saved here in L.A. today. I know
that many Christians have a dim view of this city, thinking it is a
place void of Jesus. But... well... like every other place on the
planet where the truth is that "all have sinned and fall short of
the glory of God" (Romans 3:23), "where sin abounds grace abounds
all the more" (Romans 5:20). And man, did I see some serious grace
flow through my city today. I am so taken, so humbled and inspired,
so on my face in the face of what I saw today - on my face before
Jesus...
It all began about a week ago when an L.A. firefighter was
killed in an explosion. I was out of town all last week and missed
the local news, so I don't know the details. Only that he was a
young man in his 30's, and was so very honored today as his funeral
service was televised across southern California, with thousands
personally in attendance.
The interesting thing is that it's far from the first time
one of our men/women in uniform - whether it be a firefighter or
police officer or... was lost in the line of duty. I may be wrong
because I'm obviously not often watching tv in the middle of the
day, but it's the first time I saw such a service televised from
beginning to end, totally pre-empting the network shows on NBC. I
was so surprised by this - and it was a complete coincidence that I
even turned the tv on (I'd missed my morning news and thought to
catch up on the world before I dove into my pile of work).
As I turned the tv on, a man was speaking at the podium of
this enormous Catholic cathedral that is here in downtown L.A.
There were literally people lining the walls, standing - a sea of
uniforms from ever corner of civil service along with the mayor,
council members... and of course the firefighter's family.
I didn't recognize the man who was speaking - he wasn't
dressed as a Catholic priest - but what made me stop and sit down,
transfixed for the remainder of the service, was his message. It
was not a funeral message. He wasn't talking so much about the
deceased. He was quoting Scripture after Scripture. He was
explaining the pure, simple Gospel - that we're all sinners and we
need Jesus. He was risking great public scorn and ridicule, "using"
the platform (obviously at the request of the firefighter's family)
to win souls to Jesus.
Now I've heard of this kind of thing many times before - how
the deceased would have wanted his passing to count for souls - and
so the family and pastor make that choice in planning the service.
I'm sure that many of you would say, "Yeah, we did that for my
uncle, my brother..." Praise to Jesus!
But this was a highly public, "state" funeral. There can be
no doubt that every frame was planned to the "t" and gone over with
a fine-toothed comb, and had to be cleared, approved, and
authorized... And this man who was speaking was standing in front
of all of L.A., including every L.A. dignitary, politician, and
uniformed officer. He was staring down the throat of tv cameras
that were beaming his face to probably hundreds of thousands who
were watching tv like I was. There were reporters there from the
infamously liberal L.A. Times and every other news agency - every
one of which would probably light into him and slam the city for
allowing what they would surely view as an unconscionable act -
"hijacking" the service to push religion.
But that's not what struck me - as striking as that is. It
wasn't this brother's courage and guts - as gutsy as that is. It
wasn't the amazement that the city would allow such a thing to go on
as it did without pulling the plug. It was the Spirit of God, so
clearly manifest in that gentle, warm, pin-drop silence way, as this
man calmly spoke about Jesus.
The tv cameras moved through the thousands and I didn't see
one scowl. What I did see was tears - these burly, proud, uniformed
"L.A.'s finest" along with countless others, sitting and listening
with "that" look on their face - that look that says, I need Jesus.
And so the invitation was given - "Pray with me if you want
to receive Jesus" - and as the camera continued to pan, I saw lips
upon lips moving every-so-slightly. I saw even more tears. I
saw... well... salvation. And as I watched - with tears in my own
eyes - I couldn't help but wonder how many lips were moving in front
of tv screens all across southern California - in private homes,
nursing homes, hospitals, coffee shops, offices, prisons, the tv
section at Best Buy and Circuit City, the airports - even cocktail
lounges and seedy bars...
I couldn't help but wonder how many people in L.A. who were
suddenly out of work because of the economy and so sitting at home
with nothing to do but watch tv - were sitting at home "for such a
time as this." I thought of the legions of out-of-work actors,
musicians, writers; of all the run-aways who have nothing to do all
day but watch tv. I thought of NBC studios where every office and
room has a tv in it - I thought of all the newscasters and guys like
Jay Leno who were probably watching from the make-up chair.
Following that invitation a firefighter took the microphone
and sang, I Can Only Imagine. The family's lips sang right along
with him, as did many others. There wasn't a dry eye in the
cathedral. I cried myself as I sat on the edge of this coffee table
where I'd stopped, presumably for a moment of catching up on the
morning news on my way to get about my busy day - so very stopped in
my tracks before Jesus.
Yes, a mighty salvation flowed across southern California
today. Who can know how many thousands - tens or maybe even
hundreds of thousands - of souls were saved. And isn't it just like
the Lord, that it was barely noticed. No, there will be no
Christian fanfare. We won't read about it in any magazines or see
that man I didn't recognize on any talk shows. It's such a hallmark
of the Lord, to do his bidding in a "whisper."
Later in the day I ran down to the office supply store. I
needed a plastic sleeve that would tightly fit my book, Jesus,
Yesterday, Today & Forever. When I was checking out I noticed the
cashier's name tag - Farzana. Obviously unusual, I just had to ask
and discovered she was from Afghanistan, living in the US less than
a year.
I had carried a copy of the book into the store to make sure
I got the right size, and as we were chatting over the counter, I
noticed her eyes sneaking peeks at its cover. I thought maybe she
knew the Lord and so I asked if she went to church. She got
suddenly very shy and said no, that she was Muslim. I smiled and
said, "Well, you guys love Jesus too, don't you?" She relaxed and
said yes, that he is considered a great prophet. I handed her the
book saying, "Then you will enjoy this."
Farzana was overwhelmed. She said it was a "very great gift"
in that, English being her second language way. Truly, she was so
thankful. Her eyes even misted a tiny bit.
But just wait till she opens the pages and reads the line
that says, "The hammer fell, the blood flowed, and you and I were
born again." Just wait till she sees the picture of "Jesus" weeping
over a man's pain, exploding in joy with a child in his arms,
hanging on the cross dying for her sin. And just wait till she
reads the invitation on the very last page. Then she will know what
the definition of a "very great gift" truly is. Then she will know
the gift of Jesus.
I walked out of that store, thinking, "Man, Lord, you're
something. You're so hard at work, tip-toeing about in that
non-sensational way that is always your way, quietly reaching into
lives, using every circumstance and situation no matter what.
You're so impassioned for souls, Lord - precious, precious souls -
and so willing to do whatever it takes to love them."
It was a good day, my L.A. day today. That's not because I
made a lot of money or made unusually great strides forward with
John or whatever. That's not because I went out and had a ball
doing this or that, or because the Dodgers won their season opener,
or because my acting career is taking off, or my books are
bestsellers, or I got invited to speak at some wonderful church...
It was a good day because the Lord saved a whole lot of
people, and a Muslim girl from Afghanistan is well on her way. It
was a good day because in spite of all the sin and brokenness that
assaults all of our eyes from just about every corner in one way or
another - he "abounds" all the more.
No sin is greater than he. No darkness can overwhelm his
light. We are always crying out for his power, and here it is, all
around us, everywhere, all the time, 24/7... doing what his power is
all about - saving souls and saving souls. Transforming lives from
brokenness into health, from darkness into light, from lies into
truth, from depression into joy, from despair into hope... Yes, it
was a very good day, my L.A. day. And all the glory is to Jesus!
Go to Top
February 2008 - Burbank, CA - I went to the sea
yesterday. Here in the US we say "the beach," but everyone else
says "the sea." So just to bless my international friends... I went
to the sea.
It was a glorious
day - one of those "summer" days we often get during our southern
California winters that are probably the biggest reason that we who
live here live here. I mean, imagine, it is the middle of
February. Most of the US is knee-deep in snow and blizzards.
Tornadoes just ripped through the southeast and as I talked with a
pastor in Manhattan yesterday his words were typically, "You don't
want to know how cold it is up here today, brother." And he was
right. Being a guy who doesn't even own a real coat, I don't want
to know. Yikes!
So the day was
magnificent. A real gift from God. And the amazing thing is that
other than the occasional surfer, it was pretty much just me out
there - just the way I like it. And so I strolled and strolled, and
worshipped and prayed, and rested in my soul, and strolled.
This is something
I used to do as a routine every week, one day a week, rain or
shine. It was something I felt the Lord leading me to do many years
ago - to take a "sabbath" day and spend it quiet with him.
Completely on the aside it reminds me of a university professor I
had - I mentioned him in "Footsteps" - Ronald Rietveld. He used to
meet his wife at the beach (there I go, being American) every
Thursday afternoon, just the two of them. They would walk the beach
together, probably pray together, and duck into a little beachfront
hole-in-the-wall for lunch. They did that every week no matter what
work pressures there were or whatever. Wonderful idea for a couple,
isn't it...
So a long time ago
the Lord led me to these beach days with him - and I've recounted
in many journal entries the different ways he's "met" me during
those days. But then came Dad's health battle in 2006 that re-wrote
my lifestyle. And then came Dad's health battle in 2007 that
re-wrote it even more. And then came his passing that re-wrote it
even more than more.
And then came the
fatigue and having to catch up with so much work that fell to the
wayside, and re-revving the JOHN motors after being away so long,
and, and... here I am two years down the line in February, 2008,
taking up where I left off - taking my "day."
It is good to be
with the Lord. It is good to be still. It is good to leave all the
noise of life and busyness of ministry, and intercession for this
and that, and pressing toward this goal and that kingdom vision, and
being the guy who folks looks to for encouragement and strength...
and just be with Jesus.
And really, at the
end of the day, that's what it needs to be - for all of us. I can
run around doing all these great things for God's kingdom and
everyone cheers me on, and people get saved and all - but at the end
of the day all I am is a man who needs Jesus, nothing more and
nothing less. At the end of the day all the kingdom stuff that is
truly wonderful and very important is simply not where the Lord is
at with me - or with anyone for that matter.
Where the Lord is
at is "him and me." Intimacy. Relationship. A child with his
Father. Walking hand in hand, his spirit filling mine, day to day
and moment to moment.
And what he wills
for my life is really very simple - it's the same that he wills for
all of our lives. He wills peace and rest. He wills joy and
goodness. He wills that a man or a woman live in desire of him,
resting in him, loving him and knowing his love. He wills that we
recognize the way all of our "stuff" so complicates and busies and
interferes... and that we would just let it all go to be more and
more with him.
I think of Psalm
27... "One thing I ask, O Lord, this is what I seek - that I may
dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon
the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." Yes, this is
what the Lord's will is for my life and all of our lives - to
recognize his beauty and to just want to be with him. Glory to the
name of Jesus.
I saw whales while
I was walking along the beach and wading through the breakers. It
is that time of year when the California Gray Whales migrate from
the frozen waters of the north to the warm waters of Baja to birth
their calves. Then they turn around and head back north, so the
spectacle continues through around late April. I had forgotten it
was whale season and then I saw it - this big blast of spray
followed by this huge barnacle-covered back rising above the surface
and then disappearing beneath the waves. Then again, and again,
more and more, one whale after the other...
I have stood on
that beach at times and seen them leap almost entirely out of the
water - and just outside the breakers. There were times they were
so close I could see their eyes. They have given me some
breathtaking shows in years past - and I would hope they would bless
me with even more this year as I return to my weekly visits to that
beach, walking with Jesus, talking with Jesus, resting in my soul,
being still... and enjoying the wonders of his creation and their
newly born calves leap and roll and play just a stone's throw away.
Life can truly be
good. Even in this broken world that can surely dish out a lot that
isn't so good - even now my niece is walking through the fire of
chemotherapy and still there are days when the loss of my father is
like a knife in my heart - life can be so good. Life can be good
because Jesus is good. And he's not only good, but he's literally
"Good." Have you ever noticed that the word "good" and God are
pretty much the same word? Coincidence? I don't think so. Glory
to the name of Jesus...
"One thing I ask, O Lord, this is what i seek - that I may live in
the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the
beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple."
Lord, make me a man who only wants you! Glory to the name of
Jesus!
