QUESTION: I
have a huge dream for God, but sometimes it feels
impossible. Even some brothers/sisters have
discouraged me. (Details of his dream have been
omitted). Do you think a big dream like this is
impossible? What if you know for sure it’s from God,
how do you go about it? What do you think?
ANSWER:
Of course your big dream is possible. It's beyond
possible--in fact (and pay attention to the italics
because they stress the bottom line), if it's
God's course for your life, it's already
accomplished in His power and grace. You just have
to keep walking in Him and He does the rest. Glory
to Jesus!
No dream is bigger
than God--He's so big He makes your big dream look
tiny. There is no task that He can't snap His
fingers and make happen in the blink of an eye. I
mean He parted the Red Sea, for crying out loud, so
your question is really a no-brainer.
At the same time I
know how overwhelmed a person can feel in the midst
of his "big dreams." I, too, have big dreams--far
beyond what God's already done (in fact, I haven't
even begun yet) and there are many nights where I
wake up thinking, "Are you nuts?" Well, maybe I am,
but even that doesn't limit God. Again, if it's
something He has planned, something that is
His plan for my life, the only one who can stop
it all from happening is me. That happens by me not
being obedient, not seeking, taking matters into my
own hands, moving in impatience, not pursuing
holiness, getting full of myself... All those kinds
of pitfalls that crowd out Jesus. Amen!
So the most
important thing you can do is get seriously
humble before God and make 200% sure it's His dream
and not yours. You don't want to walk in your own
dreams--you'll be cheating yourself. You want to
walk in His dreams for you which will
always be miles bigger and miles better than
your own no matter how big and good you think your
own dreams are (does that make sense?) and miles
more rewarding, too.
Then the big thing
is to make sure He is before you every step of the
way--you never want to "go into battle"
without Him going before. Ouch! He has a timing
and He has a "way," and they are never what
we would do or desire. They will always
take you against the wall of "it's impossible" and
"I don't have what it takes to do this." That's one
of the hallmarks of a true work of God--it happens
in such a way that no one can possibly take credit
for it--it can only point to God--and the road
toward it is always the road of blind trust in
Him--faith and more faith. Not so easy, but that's
the way.
So how do you
accomplish your big dream? You won't like my answer
but this is my feeling from the way the Lord has
constructed my path in these past 10 years. You
pray and seek and pray and seek. You do nothing
until He tells you to do something. You wait on Him
and wait on Him. You focus on what is His
focus--your character and your heart before Him,
righteousness growing within you, holiness and
Christ-likeness, humility and integrity... and He
does the rest.
You exercise total
faithfulness in what He's put before you to do
today. No matter what it is, whether it's related
to your dream or not (from your point of view), you
do it "as unto Him." Day to day faithfulness--I'm
convinced that's His simple and perfect will for our
lives--just honoring Him on a moment to moment basis
in all ways. Those tiny steps of seemingly
non-consequential faithfulness are the building
blocks of your dream.
Look for his open
doors--they will never look like you expect them to
look. And then you just walk in with the confidence
of His foolproof plan behind you. When He goes
before you there's really nothing for you to do
except follow, and follow, and follow. He
makes the way. He carves the streams in
the desert. He levels the mountains and
makes the crooked ways straight.
So just live your
life in day-to-day faithfulness. Keep your eyes on
Him and not on your dreams. Look for the open
doors--ask Him for the open doors. And when you see
them open--and they will--just walk through with the
confidence of knowing He's gone before you. Then I
promise you, one day you'll look back and you'll see
it all, and you'll fall to your knees at all He's
done one small step at a time in His ever-subtle
whispering way. Glory to the Name of Jesus!
Go To Top
 QUESTION:
request: ok, here is my question. I am working for a ministry and I have
never worked harder in my life. I am exhausted and the deadlines are
impossible and the pay is poor... People tell me that this is
ministry--no personal time, no rest, one thing after another kind of
life. I truly enjoy seeing people blessed and kids coming to the Lord
but do you think that ministry is really supposed to be like this? I
mean aren't we supposed to guard against being so busy that we can't
sleep at least 6 hours? It's kind of scary since my experience isn't
even a trickle of what you do. I'm not sure what to do if this is how it
really is. What do you think? Is more of this what I have to look
forward to and if so how on earth do you do this?
ANSWER: Great question! I tell
you, if there's one thing I appreciate--and I am guessing the Lord
appreciates it even more--is base, straightforward, none of that
'Christiany' smiling-all-the-time honesty. Glory to Jesus!
My answer is both yes and
no--ministry is surely a tough gig, if you know what I mean, but it does
not have to be like you describe--in fact, it shouldn't be. One of the
most heartbreaking realities so prevailing in the Christian world is
what you just described--ministries working their people into the ground
for nothing or for little. It carries over into Christian businesses,
too--not all, of course, but many that I know of.
Just last night I was on the phone
with a friend who works for a large Christian company. It is a huge
company that brings in millions every year. He is doing the same work,
keeping the same intense schedule of any corporate exec type, but he's
getting paid far less than he would if he was in a secular company. And
over the years I have been with people who cried tears because they were
working for a ministry, for love of ministry, but they just couldn't
make ends meet with what they were paid, and feeling 'forced' to move
into the secular world--and I'm talking about big money ministries.
Forgive me, but all that seems
backwards to me. If any company/ministry should be taking excellent care
of their people, it's a Christian company/ministry. I mean, the bottom
line is not what we produce but what witness to Jesus we display--and
that witness is care, character, blessing, goodness--not taking and
squeezing the life out of people. Glory to Jesus!
I remember being on a 'team' mission
trip once. It was just like you described--the schedule was
impossible--trying to squeeze 48 hours of work into a 24 hour day--and
then when we had a day off a fast was called. Yikes! Forgive me, but it
was miserable--and no, ministry does not have to be like that. Again, if
anyone should be taking care of their people, it's us. Amen!
But here's the thing--the thing that
frees... The only person who controls my life is me. The most powerful
word in the English language is 'no.' If I am overwhelmed in my work and
not coping--and this goes for whatever the work may be--it is up to me
to face that and say no if that is what will bring peace and rest and
goodness my way.
I will never forget years ago when I
was just buzzing around the planet like a mad man. I tell you, whether
it was 3 people or 30,000, I said yes to every invitation. I remember
one time doing a record 9 meetings in one day, if you can believe that.
They had to carry my home "on my shield!"
I remember in those days I would
arrive home from one of those trips and go straight to my computer and
answer all 382 of the emails I received through the web site while I was
gone. I remember feeling obligated to write something significant every
time someone asked me to sign a book. I remember just feeling the weight
of the world's lostness on my shoulders and kind of taking on that
responsibility in a sense.
I remember never once saying no to an
interview request no matter what time of the morning it meant I had to
get up or how late I was in the sack from preaching the night before. I
could go on and on, but I think you've got the idea...
Then one time I was finally home and
sitting with my assistant and she could just see that I was wasted. She
told me to take some time. "There is no time..." was the core of my
response. Then she said a line that I will never forget--a line that I
have preached a thousand times and reminded myself of every time I felt
like I couldn't say no--a line that has freed me to live my life and
trust God enough to take a day off, if you know what I mean.... She
said, "Bruce, God doesn't want all your running around and wasting
yourself. He doesn't need your talents or anything like that. He just
wants your heart. That's what pleases Him--your heart."
I tell you, no true-er words have
ever been spoken. And I can't tell you how many times I've thought to
myself, "This is just too much," or "I miss making movies too much," or
"I need to take care of my future now," or any number of things like
that--and you know the Lord's response 100% of the time? He says, "Ok,
feel free, Bruce. I love you serving me and I love you not serving Me. I
just love you, Bruce. I just want you to enjoy the life I've given you,
enjoy my love for you... and the most important thing to me is our
relationship. Nothing--not even ministry--must be allowed to degrade
that, and if that means you retire from the ministry that's just fine
with Me. I promise you, I'll get the people saved either way. I JUST
LOVE YOU."
Again, there is no true-er truth. He
just loves you. And He'll get His work done because He so loves "them,"
too. Ministry should be a great pleasure--hard work just like any work,
but still a great pleasure.
I can't tell you how many times I've
sat in the middle of worship, or in a stadium in Africa, and thought,
"How did I ever get here?" It's just such wonderful adventure. But I am
the one who sets the pace--I am the one who sets my boundaries--and if
you are being squeezed like you described, you must just take command
and face what you can and cannot handle and go live your life in the
fullness of His love for you. Again, "He just loves you!"
So be liberated! Gather yourself into
that arena that fills and fulfills, that blesses and is a blessing, that
multiplies your love for God as opposed to cutting into it--and just
enjoy! All you have of life is today and it must be lived in fullness
unto the day so that you go to sleep with a big smile on your face over
and over. Ministry life or no ministry life, He just loves you and wants
you to enjoy! Glory to Jesus!
Go To Top
QUESTION: Dear Mr. Marchiano, Thank you so
much for taking the time to answer questions. I really love "In the
Footsteps of Jesus" and I just love reading your answers to the
questions here. I'm 16, and I just want to ask, how does one know if
he/she is being called into the ministry? Since I accepted Jesus almost
5 years ago I've always wanted to to serve Jesus. I just want to devote
my whole self, career, and future to serving God and people. I've prayed
about it for a long time and I just want to know how you would know if
you are being called to do that. Thank you.
ANSWER: Forgive me, but your
question is almost funny--here you are bouncing off the walls with
desire to serve Jesus and wondering if you're called! I love it!
Yes, yes, yes, you're called--not too
many people have even a fraction of what you have in your heart, and I
can promise you, there's only one place that comes from--HIM! Glory to
His Name!
We have a huge misunderstanding about
that word, "called." We tend to think of it as a Holy Spirit bong over
the head, and there are times when that's exactly what it is. But I can
promise you, to have a heart like yours--especially at your age--is as
much of a "bong" as any bong. God has given you--and listen to my words
carefully--His heart--His heart for the kingdom of God and for His
beloved children--and that's a precious gift, I can promise you.
That's what's in His heart 24 hours a
day--the kingdom and His kiddies--so go for it. What direction to take,
what activity it will look like, how it will come into being... It's all
for Him to choose and create for you. He is a reward-er of those who
seek Him and "He will not let your foot slip (Psalm 121)," so just seek
Him and make decisions seeking Him, trusting that you are hearing from
Him which is 100% true where you are truly seeking Him. Glory to His
Name!
There's another thing--in a sense we
are all called. I mean, He speaks to us through His Spirit, through the
things that fill our hearts by His Spirit (just make sure you check
those feelings against the Word of God and make sure they line
up--feelings can be deceptive and that's the only way to keep them in
check), and also through His Word which says what? "Go serve, go
serve--no matter who you are, go serve..." Amen!
Jesus said, "The harvest is plentiful
but the workers are few." Do you think that's because He only calls a
few? I don’t. I think it's because at the end of the day only a few
respond to His call. Heartbreaking, I know... I tell you, even the best
of us is so self-oriented in our sin nature, we just don't even begin to
know how it rules our lives.
But according to His Word, just go!
Just step out and serve--that's what it's all about: serving. And I
don’t care whether it's sweeping the church floor or standing in front
of thousands, it's all the same: "Here am I, Lord--send me."
So step out. Trust the Lord to define
and specify your channels of service and your channels of preparation.
And another thing--if you step out and find that you're just not happy
and struggling and the service you're doing is burdensome, feel free to
step right back out. I can promise you, the Lord loves when His kids
choose to serve, but not at the expense of His kids' hearts. One of the
most powerful lines I ever heard--and it came when I was struggling with
the burden of ministry--was, "All He wants is your heart."
He wants you to be fulfilled in your
life, live a fullness of life in the fullness of what He created your
life to be, to be happy and whole, and if the fancy strikes and the
opportunity presents, step into the greatest vocation a man or woman can
ever step into--"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few--pray
the Lord to send workers into the harvest field." Go for it! Glory to
the Name of Jesus! Go To Top
QUESTION: When you pray for something
personal, such as a better job or that you'd meet someone special or for
some cherished dream, how can you tell the difference between God saying
"wait" and God saying "No"?
ANSWER: Well, I can
promise you, I know that one. It seems pretty much most of the last 14
years of my life (ever since I got saved!) it's felt like God saying
"Wait" or maybe saying "No." Yes indeed, I sure know that one...
But for me--and I'm the
first one to say I'm no authority on anything, so make sure you ask
someone who really knows--it isn't about 'wait' or 'no.' It's about
trusting God with those dreams, praying my brains out toward them, doing
what's within my power to pursue them, then just wiping my hands of
them, leaving them at His feet, resting in His faithfulness, trusting
His Word that says, "He will withhold no good thing from those who love
Him," and then just getting out there and living my life to the fullest
with what He's given me today--as if tomorrow "ain't ever gonna come."
Glory to Jesus!
And I really mean that. You
don't know, but my life has been pretty much carved with disappointment
and dead ends and things rarely working out. I mean, it's no mystery
that I've dreamed for years of filming another Jesus movie, and here I
am, still waiting. Is God telling me to keep waiting or is He telling me
no? I have no idea. I know how He's led me and what He's "spoken" to me
in my prayer life, but at the end of the day there's that Scripture,
"The heart is deceptive above all things," so I could be missing it by a
million miles.
So what do I do? I'll tell
you exactly what I do--and I don't know about anyone else, but it's the
only thing a guy can do--pray his brains out, take every active step he
can, then just leave it at the Lord's throne in the fullness of
knowledge that He's big enough to make those dreams come true in a
second--and here's the thing--just trust that if He isn't flipping that
switch on my behalf today then it's just not what He has for me today.
It's just not what fits into His plan for me today. It doesn't mesh with
His purposes for me today.
And believe it or not,
against all human wisdom and understanding, it just isn't what's good
for me today. I apologize for my direct-ness, but we either trust that
as it comes right from His Word, or we throw out everything else that's
in His Word. Amen and amen!
And it isn't a struggle
peculiar to you or me. Look at Paul, for example. Here's a guy who
dreamed and dreamed of bringing the Gospel to His people--the Jews. But
that's just not what God had for His life--His plan was for Paul to
reach the Gentiles.
Talk about frustration! And
then he ends up in prison. Can you imagine Paul pacing that cell and
praying for hours and hours that God would release him miraculously. But
it never comes. God released Peter--more than once He released Peter.
"Why not me, Lord?" (Gee, there's a line that strikes home for pretty
much all of us). I tell you, Paul must have struggled and struggled. "I
can be out there sharing Your Gospel, Lord!! Why don't you set me
free?!"
Yep, sounds real familiar,
doesn't it. Well, little did Paul know, God needed him to stop and do
some writing--Pauls' letters that are most of the New Testament. The
only way to get those letters written was to get Paul to stop running
around preaching.
I mean, the irony--Paul just
wanted to reach people, reach the Jews. In frustration--and here it
is--Paul made a choice TO JUST MAKE THE MOST OF WHERE GOD HAD HIM--he
shook himself free of longing for his dreams and just got busy
writing--it was the only PRODUCTIVE thing he could do with what God gave
him at the time.
Getting the point? I tell
you, it's a huge thing--and incredibly exciting when you get hold of it
and run with with it. Your life will take on such purpose, I can promise
you.
Paul just looked around and
said, "Well, God hasn't given me what I wanted and I don't know if He's
telling me to wait here in prison for another day or another year, or if
He's just saying, 'No, I won't release you from prison at all.' I can't
go out and preach like I want to, I can't go preach in Israel like I
want to, so what can I do? I CAN WRITE!"
Well now, isn't that
something. And check this out--All Paul wanted was to reach His people,
and heaven only knows how many Jews have found Jesus as Messiah through
the centuries BECAUSE OF THOSE LETTERS HE WROTE WHILE HE WAS FRUSTRATED
IN PRISON BECAUSE HE WASN'T GETTING WHAT HE WANTED WHICH WAS TO REACH
THE JEWS FOR JESUS, THEIR MESSIAH!
My goodness--is that just
God's way, or is it? You see, He does give us the desires of our
heart--the question is how, when, in what way... I can promise you, when
it's from God it'll come just like it did for Paul--in a way that only
God can take the glory, in a way that is far beyond what you could have
dreamed up for yourself, in a way that His purposes will explode...
And my life, too. Everything
you see of my life came from me not getting what I wanted. All I ever
wanted was to make movies, and after Matthew, to make Bible movies. But
look what god has me doing--ministering, organizing crusades, back and
forth to Africa, writing, rescuing babies from abortion, rescuing babies
who are abandoned, feeding starving kiddies... And I can promise you, I
never would have gone anywhere near any of that stuff if He had said yes
to my dreams when I wanted Him to.
And you know what? This will
blow your mind. Long before I ever found Jesus, when making movies was
my entire life's passion, you know why I wanted to succeed so badly? Two
reasons--I wanted to travel to faraway places and enjoy "fantasy"
situations, and more than anything else, because success as an actor
gives a guy a platform to help people.
So look what I'm doing
today--and every bit of it dropped out of the sky and into my lap. I'm
traveling to faraway places, not just enjoying fantasy situations but
actually living them--I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've been
in the middle of a crusade or some exotic far-from-western-eyes
experience and thought, "How did I ever get here?"
And can you believe it--I'm
not just helping people, but helping people find Jesus. Forgive me for
this as I don’t often talk about it, but just to punch the
point--helping 1000's and 1000's of people find Jesus--something so far
beyond what I ever dreamed or imagined. Now isn't that something? Amen
and amen.
So the bottom line is, God
is faithful--far beyond our idea of faithful. He is busy in your life
and mine--"He's not a respecter of persons"--and He just wants you and
me to stop moaning and get busy with living every moment of our lives to
the max. Every moment is beyond precious and as we all know, tomorrow
doesn't always come--all any of us ever has is today.
So we dive into the day--in
the same way Jesus dove into His every day. No matter what it looks
like, we "prosper where we're planted" just like Paul did in that
prison, trusting God all the way with all of our wants and desires...
Then we just stand back and
let Him blow our minds sky high! Glory to His blessed Name!
Go To Top
QUESTION: I would
appreciate any help or advice you could give me regarding mission work
as I am not sure how to begin.
ANSWER: You know, it
really is quite easy--all you have to do is step out and do it, and
there's a million opportunities all around you every day. I think I
discussed some of this in answer to another question, but just step out
and do it. We so often wait to 'feel led,' but I can tell you, your
leading is on a hundred different pages in every book of your Bible,
"Go, go, GO!" the Word says.
And the opportunities--just
throw a rock and you'll find one. I'm sure your church reaches out in
some way somewhere (and if it doesn't, find another church!), so just
sign up for whatever, no matter how it might fit or not fit what you
think fits with you. The key is just serving, serving, and just growing
in serving, and allowing the Lord to shape the path your serving takes.
And I'm not joking or being over-simplistic--it really is all about
serving.
There's YWAM, Campus Crusade
for Christ... So, so many organizations and opportunities, and every one
of them is just a click and an email away. Get your friends together and
go downtown some afternoon and just minister to the
people--whatever--just step out, toss yourself at God's feet, tell Him
you want to serve Him and that you will serve Him in any way HE wants
you to, then just go, go, go for Jesus! Glory to his Name!
Go To Top
QUESTION: Why do I
run from God when I know seeking and obeying Him is the answer?
ANSWER: It's just
your flesh--your flesh and my flesh and everyone's flesh who's reading
this page--and you'll deal with it no matter how deep you get into God
for the rest of your born-again life which unfortunately is still
trapped in this flesh. I mean, isn't it Paul that writes about his own
struggles--"Why do I want to do what I know I shouldn't do..." (Forgive
me that it's too late and I'm too sleepy to look it up, but it's
something like that).
I tell you, and forgive me
for my boldness here, but anyone who tells you they don't struggle at
all, or don't knee-jerk ever about obeying this or that the Lord tells
them... well, they're just kidding themselves. I've sat with some of the
most incredible and godly leaders, and on some level, they all deal with
such struggles.
In fact, and this is a
little aside, it just disgusts me when a guy won't admit to that. You
know--a guy grabs that microphone and paints this picture of his own
excellence in righteousness, and how he and God are like two peas in a
pod, and his faith is bigger than a whole bushel of mustard seeds... I
have a saying, "Whenever you hear a preacher who is the hero of his own
stories, run like the wind." Amen!
But getting back to your
question, we all struggle on some level, not that that's an excuse to
just shrug your shoulders and stumble at every turn. Keep seeking, keep
knocking. Where you're seriously trying to make strides (and it's
obvious from your question that you are) He's seriously faithful to
bring you along, closer to Him, further from your flesh, closer to Him,
further from your flesh, one step at a time, one step at a time. Glory
to Jesus!
As we grow the struggle
diminishes. As we learn more and more that God truly is who He says He
is, that His heart truly is good toward us and His intentions are
nothing but excellent and caring, we grow in trust and that struggle
becomes more and more of a whimper, glory to Jesus!
So keep going--you're doing
great. Whatever it is, get back on your feet, ask and trust His
forgiveness, knock the dust off your shoulders, and get right back in
the race. You're not a failure--you're a child of God! You're not
disappointing Him--He's singing over you in love and desire. So just
keep going--and going, and going, and glory to Jesus--just keep going.
Praise His precious Name!
Go To Top
QUESTION: Have you ever had to deal
with the feelings of failure and struggling with your faith when you
know you're being led by God, but then you take that step of faith and
you fall off a cliff? Has that ever happened to you?
ANSWER: Are you
kidding? I've lost more sleep over that one 'step' than just about
anything else in the past 10 years. In fact, I had the biggest struggle
of my entire life with Jesus because of this very thing. I've never told
the story in public, but let me do it for the first time, and hopefully
I can keep it under 100 pages...
After I finished 'Matthew,'
it was quite a downfall coming back to L.A. and just once again being
just whatever life was before 'Matthew.' It's a common experience to
folks who have gone out to the mission field and then have a hard time
adjusting back into real life. It's also common to guys coming back from
war. They've just lived something so cutting edge and so far outside of
everyday living, everyday living just doesn't quite fit anymore.
Anyway, that would describe
me in my post-'Matthew' days, and in many ways I still go through it,
but that's another story for another time. Well, through a series of
amazing 'coincidences' (yeah, right) I had a meeting with a producer
named Ken Wales. Ken was producing a new series that I'm sure many of
you remember - 'Kristy.'
I'm not going to go into the
details of how I met Ken - there are just too many of them. But suffice
it to say, only the Lord could have put it together like it came
together. It so smelled of the hand of God, it wasn't funny. In fact, to
this day I am still certain it was God, though it ended in a dead end.
But Ken stumbled into seeing
some of 'Matthew' before it was released and he was interested in
testing me for the role of Doc on 'Kristy.' Ken sent me the book to
read, set me up with the casting director, the whole thing.
Now it's hard for you to
realize it without knowing how the film industry works, but the chances
of me even getting a reading for that role are like the chances of
winning the lottery. There are big name guys with big name agents
busting their tails to get a reading for that role, and here I was with
no big anything and it just fell into my life. It was the career
opportunity of a lifetime and I wasn't even lifting a finger for it. In
other words - it was God like there never was God. Amen and amen!
And the doors just kept
opening - and again, I'm not going to go into details but it was miracle
after miracle, and again, I wasn't lifting a finger. I was SO convinced
this was the next step God had for my life that I didn't pursue anything
else. Every morning it was like the Lord just gave me Scripture after
Scripture and promise after promise, and the doors were flinging open,
glory to His Name.
Then there I was in the
final audition. Tyne Daily was already cast and that was very exciting,
and I forget the girl's name who played Kristy, so there I was at the
final audition and the CBS network people were there, and Ken was there,
and the casting agent, and it was the big-time. I gave an audition that
I thought was a slam dunk, and with all my confidence in the Lord's
leading, walked out of that room expecting to pack my bags and move to
Tennessee any day because that's where they were filming. I mean, I
seriously staked everything on it - it was God and I just knew it was
God, and never was a guy so full of faith and sureness, hallelujah!
So you know the end of the
story - my phone never rang and another actor played Doc in what
unfortunately ended up being a very short-lived series, as good as it
was.
But I tell you, that sent me
into the biggest faith-struggle tailspin of my life. I went through the
whole thing - "I'm never going to trust that still, small voice ever
again." "God set me up to be crushed." "How could God love me and
mislead me like that." On and on I struggled, and I struggled for a very
long time.
So what does a guy do with
something like that? Forgive me, but I just don't know. The bottom-line
is you stand at the crossroads of crossroads in a situation like that -
am I going to walk away from it all, or am I still going to trust in the
face of NOTHING looking like it can be trusted, and what's that
Scripture, "Though You slay me, yet I will praise You."
And that's really the
bottom-line. It's not about me, and He's the one who's God, not me, and
it's my place just to make sure it's not me who blew it somewhere and if
it was, just learn the lesson and move on. Get up, knock the dirt off my
shoulders, and get right back in the race. Glory to the Name of Jesus.
And it's ok to struggle. So
often we think we should just never feel any of that frustration and
disappointment and all, but you know, read David in the Psalms. Here's a
guy who's so disappointed and downright angry with God at times it isn't
funny. But at the end of the day he says, and probably through gritted
teeth, "I'm going to praise You anyway." Glory to Jesus!
Look at Paul's life - talk
about stepping into situations led by God and ending up in disaster!
Here he floats into a town as the Lord has led Him and ends up being
stoned and imprisoned and who-knows-what-else, and not just once but
over and over. Talk about struggle! And he's as human as anyone - look
at that place in Acts where he's in Ephesus (I think) and he's so down
and discouraged that Jesus actually pays him a visit, encouraging him
with, "Keep speaking, keep preaching..."
So number one, you're not
alone, and it's ok to pour your heart out in questions and crying before
the Lord. It's ok to not be so 'Christian' all the time, if you know
what I mean. God's eyes are focused on your heart, not your brave and
fancy words in prayer. He knows all the struggle and doubt and whatever,
so you may as well be honest with Him and just pour it out. Again,
that's what David and all the other big guys did.
Number two, all you can do
is make sure you didn't mess up somewhere and just move on. There's no
time to sit and wonder about yesterday. You can drown in that and it
accomplishes nothing anyway. And then sometimes we try so hard to find
purpose in things going wrong or whatever, and I tell you, just move on
and trust the Lord to create the purpose. His promise is to redeem every
one of our mistakes if we'll just get out of the way and let Him. So you
just keep moving and growing and pressing in and trusting Him in the
face of no reason to trust Him, and glory to the Name of Jesus.
Dean Jones once told me,
"There is no success or failure in the kingdom of God, Bruce. There is
only obedience and disobedience." Then he went on to say, "There are
only two mistakes a Christian can make - not seeking God and/or
disobeying God when he hears from Him." And I tell you, that's it 100% -
just keep seeking, just keep obeying, make sure the leading that you
have is in line with God's word as He'll never contradict himself, and
press on. I tell you, if I'm going to err, I'd rather err on the side of
stepping out foolishly because I thought God told me to, than to err on
the side of not stepping out even though I thought God told me to. You
will NEVER go wrong honoring God, even if you blow it completely trying
to. Praise His wondrous Name!
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QUESTION: I have a
heart to love people, but I'm having a hard time connecting the desire
to the action. I read in Bruce's words that he has made the connection,
so I was hoping Bruce could talk more in-depth on how he prepared,
prayed, etc. to receive the Lord's heart for the lost.
ANSWER: Well, there
really is no trick here - it is just seeking and seeking, and giving
yourself over, and diving in even though you don't 'feel like it,' and
just going for it.
And I mean that - we are
always looking for some formula to flip a switch in our hearts or
whatever, but there is no formula. There is just crying out and crying
out, and I can tell you, if one is seriously asking God to give him His
heart, that's one prayer he doesn't need to wonder if God is going to
answer. That's the prayer God is longing for all of us to pray! So just
keep crying out - Jeremiah 29:13 - "When you seek Me with ALL OF YOUR
HEART I will be found." Amen!
And then there is this thing
of 'not feeling like it.' Forgive me for my honesty, but if I waited
till I felt like it all the time, I wouldn't do most anything. I'd just
play softball all the time!
But seriously, I have a
saying - the heart follows the action. The problem is we always want the
heart to lead, but I have found that it's just not that way all the
time. We dive in to do what we know is the thing to do even if it's like
chewing on glass, and eventually - maybe even quickly - the heart is
certain to follow.
I can tell you that was the
case for me for a long time. I mean, all I ever wanted to do with my
life is make movies, but then the Lord opened this obvious door of
reaching out. I was at a crossroads - do I do what I want to do with my
life, or do I do what God is obviously doing with my life?
I will never forget sitting
with my pastor once and laying all this out for him and he said one
thing to me - "Bruce, what is your life all about?" Well, he was my
pastor, so I gave him the goody-two-shoes, good little Christian boy
answer - "Bringing people into the kingdom of God." He replied, "You're
right. Now, once a man knows what his life is about, everything else is
easy. Have a good day!"
Like I said, crossroads, and
in the beginning I literally forced myself to get on those planes and
leave what I loved to do and fly to wherever God had opened the door.
And I tell you, I struggled in prayer. I mean, here people were getting
saved in droves and everyone was patting me on the back, but I still
wanted to go make movies - I still didn't 'feel like it.'
But then one night I was in
a church in Pretoria, South Africa. I spoke about Jesus and then sat
down as the pastor gave a salvation invitation in their language. And I
tell you, I can remember it like it was yesterday - the people started
flooding forward and they just kept coming, and there was a father with
his teenage son and a little granny with her granddaughter, and I can
actually see their faces it was such a moving sight - and I just broke.
Right there in the front row of that church I started crying, and out of
nowhere began begging the Lord, "Give me souls for my inheritance! Lord,
you can have the movies - just give me souls! All I want is souls!"
Something happened in me
that night - that night I began to 'feel like it.' But what no one knows
(until now, that is), that day followed a lot of struggle with letting
go - sometimes feeling good about it, sometimes not... And you know, I
can be open about that because I just know that represents a whole lot
of guys who do what I do. It's not so easy - what's that song - "The
Warrior Is A Child"?
So again, it all boils down
to that Billy Graham prayer - a prayer he obviously prayed before he
'felt like it' - "Lord, I'll do what You want me to do, I'll be who You
want me to be, I'll go where You want me to go..." And may I add, "Even
if I don't feel like it." Amen, and amen.
So seek his heart with all
your heart and step out even though you don't have it yet. You know what
your life is about - go for it. I can promise you, your "Lord, give me
souls" night will come just as mine did, and your life will never be the
same.
I can sit here today, free
of all such struggle, and honestly say, "You can take all the Best Actor
Academy Awards and flush them down the toilet, Lord. Just give me souls!
Souls, souls, souls!" Glory to Your Name!
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